My fellow gals,
A little about myself I am a twenty somethin’ somethin’ girl. I am a girl in need of a queen bed—right now I have a twin. I hang a cut off picture of an “attorney” on my wall. I sleep next to my large-dark green luggage and I am barefooted all the time… On the outside I am ordinary. On the inside I am extraordinary. What I want to tell each and everyone of the woman out there is that you are a freaking trophy. I may not have a big mansion or a little Chihuahua I do not have the luxury of things, but what I do have of value is all of this. (I am pointing at all my body- including my brain)
Often I get to see this come out of my girl-friends lips. “ I want attention from my boyfriend.” “ I would rather meet some boys.” “ I don’t like my legs.” “ I can’t eat that it has a lot of calories.” “ Why isn’t he calling me?” “ Do you think I look fat?”
Day after day, I put my friends in a category. I had to classify them by order. After a while it becomes more of a game to me.
The first player is a professional stalker with a big self-esteem issue. She needs to have a boyfriend all the time to feel validated in this world. She cannot live without a man—Oh no, if this happens she will no longer survive. Dadudumm..
On second base is a trap catcher. She would do anything to get the attention of a man. She will pull out the “ I am pregnant” card to have her way. She is serious.
Our third player is from a place we called LA-LA Land. She imagines her whole life with him, even if he cannot commit. She imagines they are together. She plays the wifey role. He gets to take advantage of the benefits while she lets herself. He is in control of her life.
And our last player is Miss Independent, but very dependent on a man for happiness. She does her own little things; yoga, work, runs errands. She has her own interest, but she falls to the arms of a man for when she feels lonely. She is the lost little puppy, but she is the big dog of her world. She controls her life—but when she feels there is no meaning she reclines to the big manly chest.
Yes. I forcefully get to hear of this almost on the regular.
You are probably asking yourself, “What does this have to do with me?” It has to do everything with you, girl. I am 100 percent you fall into one of those categories. Why? You ask. It’s because you are a “weak-woman” But, don’t worry it is not your fault. I blame the Internet, posters, models, America, magazines, and of course the capital of entertainment Hollywood.
They basically control you. You don’t realize they do, but they do.
On a hot day, you drive to a convenient store to buy a refreshing drink. A soda and chips to go. And as you come across those tasty salty chips you see a rack of magazines. You briefly skimp through the pages—and then see a beautiful girl on the front page. You have been INFLUENCED. That is my friend not a good thing. All you think of is how men want a girl to look like. And since you had seen the articles of tons of beautiful models on the pages. You lose a part of yourself. You lose your confidence.
You shape your world based on the way society wants you to see it. Many people put a magazine together and say you should do this or not dress this way. And that is how you think you should. Your personal opinion flies out the window. Then, you sit on the couch and watch your favorite TV show. Approximately five commercials interrupt your show. And you see some advertisement. You always see a supermodel. You always see a sex scene. You always see alcohol commercials. You always see what reality is not. So, you try to mimic the crowd. You workout and become extra thin to look like a supermodel, you have sex the way you see it on a movie, and you drink every weekend. Does it sound familiar?
What America wants is for you to be dumb. All of the media tells you to feel insecure, to run to your man’s arms and give him what he desires from you, to have low confidence in yourself and drink your sorrows and not face them. Feeling blue? Grab a cold one!
“ Do you think is right for me to come clean the house after work, cook, do laundry, on top of that he is starting to charge me rent. He doesn’t even spend time with me, besides in bed.” Elizabeth, a medical assistant told me. “ I am tired of it.” I read between the lines. “ I am not thinking with my head, I do not want to leave because I am so close to him. I do not feel worthy of myself.” This person told me that she does not value her time and herself. He on the other, hand has all the playtime fun. What more can you ask for? He has a chef, a maid, a roommate, and room service…ooo.
“ I am not sure, why he even has her ex on his Facebook.” “ I am here giving him what he needs and he has her as a friend, but why?” A mother of two told me about her relationship. Every weekend she surrenders to him. She does not make plans outside of her boyfriend’s house. She depends on him to entertain her. A person that is very predictable usually gets a little tiresome. You need change. Maybe that is why he has the girl as a friend. He can chase her—and excitingly score.
“ I only get to see my boyfriend once a week. It seems like he doesn’t even enjoy spending time with me, when he gets a chance to see me. He is always on his phone and pushes me aside. I was angry and told him off. I used to like him holding my hand, but now he doesn’t, only when we dated.” Briana, a nineteen-year-old store clerk told me. It was because she put him in her plans that he took it for granted. She told him she was available as quickly as possible. He got the message that he conquered her- on to the next territory.
As much as we want to fall in love and give in. You are a trophy and a valuable prize. The only valuable thing you have is yourself. The more and more you become so eager to be a slave to the man. The more and more he will lose focus on you. He does not want a peasant slave. He wants the freaking queen. He wants the ruler of the kingdom. He wants you to dictate your life and do great important things outside of him. As much as you think beauty is a big asset. It is not. As a woman you always have to have control of your time. You lose time and youth being with a person that does not value your presence. It’s time for no sobbing women, your mission is to wipe those tears and learn to be the grand prize. The prize does not chase the men, the men pursues the prize.
You could see a stunning woman walk down the street with her nice little firm body, but she could be very trashy and carries herself very sloppy. She relies attention from men, and does not have self-value. Instantly, that makes her the average girl. She is not the extraordinary girl. She does not value herself. She gives in and is the poor little peasant slave.
You are the key to your relationships. You are the freaking queen of the world. You just have to know what plan to achieve and find the solutions to problems. In the end, you face the challenges on your own. No one determines your happiness, nobody. You have two choices. Be a slave to the media and men. Be a happy queen sleeping on a twin bed and thinking how awesome you are and by hanging a picture up on your wall, you can achieve great things. You are the answer to your success. Give yourself a high value and you won’t be chasing the men---no- no.. I sleep alone and I have all the men to choose from. I could be laying in a King bed with them. I don’t give in because I would lose control of the situation. You are the queen—you have the control –always.
